JMc
My daughter is 11 months and is formula and breast fed (formula in the day @ daycare and breast at night.) Over the last couple of months, our nursing times have become less frequent. She's a very very busy baby and finds her new teeth entertaining. We reached the point this week where I am only late night nursing when we are both very sleepy. Two days ago, she woke up and I tried to nurse her back down and she looked me in the eyes and bit the heck out of me-- again. She's got 4 teeth coming in at once and has been really fussy. Anyway-- I think we're at the end of our run here. I really thought we'd keep breastfeeding into her second year and am pretty sad about it. Yesterday I was picking up my lunch and looking at a local magazine with an ad for a CD that benefits our local Milk Bank and I just started crying thinking-- it's over for me. Has anyone else been through this? I feel foolish feeling sorry for myself with my two healthy kids asleep right here. She's the second and last baby. I will be 40 this year and am done with new babies.
Answer
Biting is a very VERY common sign of teething. Both my boys would nip at me before I had any other inkling that teeth were on their way.... before drool, before red cheeks etc. etc. Biting , IMO is not really a good reason to wean - especially since it sounds like you are hoping ot nurse for longer, and she is still interested.
check out what kellymom has to say about Biting here:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/older-baby/biting.html
the common theme here is that you need to be paying attention , which I know is hard to do when you are fast asleep!! can you do a dream feed at night, a little earlier than she is used to , so you are still alert enough to catch the biting? Ex. if you nurse at 11:30pm walk in to get her at 10:30 and just put her to the breast- she will nurse and then you can put her right back to sleep! This way, you are still awake enough to have your wits about you :)
Ways to PREVENT biting
1.Biting at the end of a nursing session: Biting often takes place at the end of a nursing session when baby is getting bored and is no longer hungry. If you start to have a biting problem, watch for signs of boredom, and take baby from the breast before the biting starts. Also, watch for tension in baby's jaw before he starts to bite down. He may also pull his tongue back from it's normal position over the lower gum/teeth.
2.When baby is teething: Biting can also be brought on by teething. If baby seems to be teething rather than wanting to nurse, offer her a teething toy or something cold to bite (instead of you). Offer baby a teething toy after a bite or "near miss." When you do this, tell her, "This is for biting. Be gentle when you nurse." See also these comfort measures for teething.
When my oldest was teething, I could tell whether my baby felt like biting or nursing by offering her a finger (careful!) or a toy before nursing - she would either suck or bite.
3.Biting at the beginning of a nursing session: If baby is biting at the beginning of a nursing session, make sure baby opens wide when latching on. If your teething baby is biting at the beginning of a nursing session, try giving her a teething toy or something cold to chew on before nursing. Praise baby when she latches on correctly, without biting.
4.Distracted baby: When baby is distracted, don't force a nursing. If he's wriggling, rolling, or pushing against you with his arms, he may not be hungry or interested in nursing. Try lying down with him in a quiet room, walking or rocking. See also these tips for nursing distracted babies.
5.Biting for attention: Focus your attention on your baby while nursing, if you're having a problem with biting. Some older babies will bite for attention. Paying attention will also help you to be aware of when baby is about to bite.
Use positive reinforcement and praise for good latch on and careful unlatching. Even the youngest babies can learn to nurse properly when mom uses gentle encouragement.
What do I do if baby bites me?
If baby bites, it can be very effective to calmly remove baby from the breast and say nothing (or perhaps make a calm comment like "oh? don't want to nurse right now?"), then end the nursing session for a bit.
Stopping the nursing session is generally the most effective way to teach baby that nursing and biting do not go together. Once baby lets go, remove her from the breast for a bit - it may be a few seconds or a few minutes (this is something where you'll need to gauge your own baby's reaction). If baby is teething (which is often the cause of biting), this is a good time to hand baby something cold to chew on, a teething toy, etc. You might tell baby something along the lines of, "if you want to bite, we're not nursing." If baby really wants to keep nursing, she may get upset when you end the nursing session, at which point you can wait a few moments then give baby another chance to nurse. If baby is not interested in nursing, she might fuss a few seconds but then go on to something else.
If baby bites, it's not a good idea to scream or yell on purpose as a method to stop biting -- there are better ways to teach baby not to bite. Sometimes, of course, it's impossible not to yell in pain if baby catches you by surprise and/or bites hard. Sometimes yelling does stop baby from biting again; however, some babies think it's so funny that they continue to bite for the reaction, and other babies are so scared that they go on a nursing strike. The chance that this method will stop baby biting is simply not worth the problems it can cause.
Biting is a very VERY common sign of teething. Both my boys would nip at me before I had any other inkling that teeth were on their way.... before drool, before red cheeks etc. etc. Biting , IMO is not really a good reason to wean - especially since it sounds like you are hoping ot nurse for longer, and she is still interested.
check out what kellymom has to say about Biting here:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/older-baby/biting.html
the common theme here is that you need to be paying attention , which I know is hard to do when you are fast asleep!! can you do a dream feed at night, a little earlier than she is used to , so you are still alert enough to catch the biting? Ex. if you nurse at 11:30pm walk in to get her at 10:30 and just put her to the breast- she will nurse and then you can put her right back to sleep! This way, you are still awake enough to have your wits about you :)
Ways to PREVENT biting
1.Biting at the end of a nursing session: Biting often takes place at the end of a nursing session when baby is getting bored and is no longer hungry. If you start to have a biting problem, watch for signs of boredom, and take baby from the breast before the biting starts. Also, watch for tension in baby's jaw before he starts to bite down. He may also pull his tongue back from it's normal position over the lower gum/teeth.
2.When baby is teething: Biting can also be brought on by teething. If baby seems to be teething rather than wanting to nurse, offer her a teething toy or something cold to bite (instead of you). Offer baby a teething toy after a bite or "near miss." When you do this, tell her, "This is for biting. Be gentle when you nurse." See also these comfort measures for teething.
When my oldest was teething, I could tell whether my baby felt like biting or nursing by offering her a finger (careful!) or a toy before nursing - she would either suck or bite.
3.Biting at the beginning of a nursing session: If baby is biting at the beginning of a nursing session, make sure baby opens wide when latching on. If your teething baby is biting at the beginning of a nursing session, try giving her a teething toy or something cold to chew on before nursing. Praise baby when she latches on correctly, without biting.
4.Distracted baby: When baby is distracted, don't force a nursing. If he's wriggling, rolling, or pushing against you with his arms, he may not be hungry or interested in nursing. Try lying down with him in a quiet room, walking or rocking. See also these tips for nursing distracted babies.
5.Biting for attention: Focus your attention on your baby while nursing, if you're having a problem with biting. Some older babies will bite for attention. Paying attention will also help you to be aware of when baby is about to bite.
Use positive reinforcement and praise for good latch on and careful unlatching. Even the youngest babies can learn to nurse properly when mom uses gentle encouragement.
What do I do if baby bites me?
If baby bites, it can be very effective to calmly remove baby from the breast and say nothing (or perhaps make a calm comment like "oh? don't want to nurse right now?"), then end the nursing session for a bit.
Stopping the nursing session is generally the most effective way to teach baby that nursing and biting do not go together. Once baby lets go, remove her from the breast for a bit - it may be a few seconds or a few minutes (this is something where you'll need to gauge your own baby's reaction). If baby is teething (which is often the cause of biting), this is a good time to hand baby something cold to chew on, a teething toy, etc. You might tell baby something along the lines of, "if you want to bite, we're not nursing." If baby really wants to keep nursing, she may get upset when you end the nursing session, at which point you can wait a few moments then give baby another chance to nurse. If baby is not interested in nursing, she might fuss a few seconds but then go on to something else.
If baby bites, it's not a good idea to scream or yell on purpose as a method to stop biting -- there are better ways to teach baby not to bite. Sometimes, of course, it's impossible not to yell in pain if baby catches you by surprise and/or bites hard. Sometimes yelling does stop baby from biting again; however, some babies think it's so funny that they continue to bite for the reaction, and other babies are so scared that they go on a nursing strike. The chance that this method will stop baby biting is simply not worth the problems it can cause.
will a baby make the relationship last forever?
raegrey
knowing her only 9 months and she already has 2 kids with 2 different dads. not even sure i am in love with her but i married her and she is pregnant.. does a baby make me love her , or will it make things hard
married her for the baby and she didnt have insurance.
Answer
A baby does not solve any problems. When she has the baby, you may realize that you do truly love her and it just took you seeing what a wonderful woman she is to have your baby. My husband had so much more respect to me after I had our children.
I really think that if you did not love her you would not have married her.
Just work on things and pray - ask God to help you thru this rough patch.
You did not have to get married just because you are having a baby. Yes I understand that it is the right thing to do, but there are other options.
I just don't want to sound preachy but you need to decide what is best for you, what is best for her and her kids and what is best for the baby.
Just think about it and don't make a rushed decision.
A baby does not solve any problems. When she has the baby, you may realize that you do truly love her and it just took you seeing what a wonderful woman she is to have your baby. My husband had so much more respect to me after I had our children.
I really think that if you did not love her you would not have married her.
Just work on things and pray - ask God to help you thru this rough patch.
You did not have to get married just because you are having a baby. Yes I understand that it is the right thing to do, but there are other options.
I just don't want to sound preachy but you need to decide what is best for you, what is best for her and her kids and what is best for the baby.
Just think about it and don't make a rushed decision.
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