Saturday, May 3, 2014

Please share your stories about failed attempts to have your baby CIO?




Koonanda


I've only heard CIO success stories but have yet to hear anyone say it didn't work for them and their baby. I was hoping people could share their stories? Thanks.
CIO = crying it out



Answer
When my baby was about 10 months old, I was extremely sleep-deprived, and I worked a very dangerous, high stress job. At the time, my husband was working opposite shifts and when he came home late at night, he was impossible to wake up. Our baby refused to sleep without the nipple in her mouth, and it was so uncomfortable for me! I read The No-Cry Sleep Solution, but I thought that it sounded like too much work for me in such a sleep deprived state. I eventually made her cry it out. For a week, she cried for at least an hour after a nice bedtime routine and lots of patting, nursing and kissing. After that, it seemed like everything was great . . .

. . . until anything happened. Anything could trigger the night-crying again. Teething, the weekend, visiting grandma, a boo-boo, a sickness, anything! Sure, that's normal, but she had to cry it out all over again every time something new happened! In the end, I still had to teach her how to put herself to sleep, but it took so long compared to my second child, who was never made to cry it out. Teaching my oldest to go to sleep has been exhausting. I have learned that tending a child's needs will allow her to outgrow them, while ignoring them just makes an issue out of nothing.

If I had just learned to slowly transition her from sleeping with the nipple in her mouth to sleeping beside me without nursing, I could have made it a lot easier on myself. Making her cry has been so much work. She has recently started looking forward to bedtime, but she's 4 years old now. Her sister has always been accepting of naptime, but Audra refused to sleep for so long!

She still doesn't stay in her own bed. She's just not secure enough at night. My second has always been a great sleeper, and I'm positive it's because I taught her how to go to sleep on her own instead of ignoring her until she passed out from frustration, fear and exhaustion. If you have any doubt that's what happens to a crying child, check out the (Yale?) study that had to be called off because of the stress reactions of the crying babies. The researchers basically decided that the physiological reactions of the babies in the study indicated that the study was cruel, unethical, immoral and illegal.

My kids differ in their confidence levels during the day, and I believe that it's partially due to night parenting. I was a better mom by the time my second baby was born. When my first was a baby, I bought all the "don't spoil her, don't let her manipulate you, put her down and let her cry" bs that my parents and grandparents told me. My second child was babied more. Now, the two year old goes to preschool happily while the four year old throws fits about me leaving her.

CIO seemed to work at first for us, but I wouldn't do it again. It was too much work in the long run.

Mary, that's what the folklore says, but unfortunately it was invented by pediatricians who were not researching their ideas--just writing it down. I've learned that crap in classes too, but I've yet to see it backed up with real research. That sort of information was in high demand because women were expected to do enormous amounts of housework, do all of the baby care, including boiling diapers and bottles, cook all of the family's food from scratch and do it without any help from their own moms or other relatives. It's no wonder that our parents and grandparents were left to cry in their cribs for hours and hours while their moms drank too much and pretended that crying is good for baby's lungs. That, by the way, was commonly accepted until someone actually did some research on that hypothesis. It turns out that crying does NOT exercise the lungs. Hooray for real research.

A baby story/Bringing home baby if you watch it?




*Ethans Mo


How does it make you feel?
I actually like a baby story better, im 41w3d pregnant and i actually cant wait to go through that...It used to scare me but now im just so darn excited I just want to go and get it over with so I can meet my little boy.

Did you watch these shows when you were pregnant?
Yes, my doctor is going to induce me sometime this week, i have an apt tomorrow. I just had a sono done last thurs. and everything was still perfect.



Answer
i watch them most mornings.

Im learning a lot! For example - if they set to induce you or give you a c section and they say dont eat - DONT!!! And i guess if you have to have an epidural you have to go in alone to get the shot before the c section? They always make the partner wait outside and then call them in when they are ready to cut...

I tend to like bringing home baby more. And I like the baby story when the labor is easy :)

I just started watching them now that im pregnant.




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Title Post: Please share your stories about failed attempts to have your baby CIO?
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