Is it normal to be obsessed with disorders and death?

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Emily

This is probably really weird and I am not expecting nice answers, but I am starting to get scared. Over the past four years I have been gradually becoming more obsessed with disorders. Mainly psychological, but my older brother was diagnosed with asbergers when he was five years old. I've been obsessed with his disorder ever since I found out. I research it online and read endless books on it. I also have become depressed since my freshman year of high school. I started self harming myself and talked about suicide. I grew obsessed with the terms mentally ill. I've seen two psychiatrists, but i never really told them how I have been acting.
I've been obsessed with horror movies ever since I was in junior high. I have seen every series of the classic killers, such as Halloween, Friday the 13th etc. I watch scary movies over and over and over again till I basically can repeat them. I've watched the remakes of the Halloween series by Rob Zombie twenty times each. I obsess over movies with lots of gore like Saw and those kinds of movies. Once I find a scary movie on Netflix, I watch it over and over again.
Back to my obsession with disorders. I am obsessed with depression, schizophrenia, suicide, obsessive compulsive disorder, bulimia, anorexia and so on. I log onto instagram and tumblr and continue looking up these pictures. Maybe I am obsessed with this because sometimes I wish I had this just to experience what these people go through. I want to know what it's like to be in their brain. I want to see things for myself. I am already suffering from depression and anxiety and show some signs of asbergers myself, but I was never diagnosed with it.
I use to write in high school, but grew out of it once my boyfriend of six months broke up with me. Recently, I have come up with an idea. I am a freshman in college entering my second semester and I am currently working on a story where the plot is a math teacher goes crazy and kills everyone in the class, rapes the main character and then shoots her and himself. She survives the attack, but her life has changed forever. Still working on it, but I don't understand why I picked that. My previous stories have always been about child abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, and killers. Crazy.
Once more thing before I completely make you think I am crazy. I have been having horrific dreams. 1.) First dream, my mom picked me up from college and we pulled in a gas station parking lot. She told me not to look and all of a sudden I hear gun fire. I look around and see a huge van with no window, but the door was open and a cop car in in front of with on its side. I also see a cop face down in a pool of blood. I look around the parking lot and see a bunch of bloody body parts such as hands, legs, feet, and heads.
2.)I was working in my school library and there was a drill where we had to go outside because there was an intruder in the building. I walked outside and was talking to a couple of people dressed up but my age. They tell me about how they are getting inducted into National Honors Society and then breaks my heart. (in high school i didn't get it and my parents were mad at me for it *real life*) I then walked inside back in the library and then walked out of the library in the hallway. I heard noise and walked back in the library and my dad (he is a cop) and the rest of the police dept. was there. I asked what happened and he told me I was next. I was then questioned by one of the officers if I was in the library and he proceeded to tell me that this girl was in there going to confess her love to me until she was viciously attacked by a man. I watched it. She was beaten to a pulp with an aluminum bat and her head was smashed with a brick.
3.) Bugel (Mr. Boogie) (Sinister) chopped my legs off at the knee and left me to die in my own pool of blood and I watched him explode babies in front of my eyes.

I woke up from these dreams scared, but these dreams happened within a week. I am scared of them, yet I want them to happen because I secretly like it. Help?
Thank you so much guys for your help and support! <3

Answer
Truth of the life is that,You need to Raise yourself by Yourself. You yourself knows and accepts that you secretly likes the act you want to get rid off.. Can't you see by yourself that you have opposite intentions ? This is the root cause of your problem.
You strongly believe that you are depressed, you have this, you have that and so on , you are messing up with your own mind..
First thing you need to trust strongly is that you are same as everyone of us. Everyone is obsessed with something in the world such as Money, sex, women, drugs,smoking, drinking etc....All these are just the mind based disorders and not disease....
Disorder means, it is not in the ORDER..that's it...You don't complicate this too much...Each & Every human is prone to some kind of disorder in some way...Your disorder is just your feeling and unnecessary worry... I Don't say that it doesn't exist, but all what i say is that you are perfectly normal as everyone of us and since this affects your mental & Physical health, you MUST need to consult some Psychiatrist to make the process easier for you.. Other alternative solutions are
1) Try Spiritual Healing.
2) You May Join Meditation classes near by your area ( Try Yoga Nidra)
3) You may Join Yoga classes , Specifically Hatha Yoga Classes.
Also ,try to Listen to soft ,Soothening music before you go to bed.
Hope to see you feel blissful soon :-)

What are good names and plots for a fan fiction?

LaLa Bug

I need help with a Niall Horan fan fiction i write them on Quotev for anyone who is wondering what site i use i need some good ideas for the plot and name thanks xx

Answer
I'm not going to give you a plot, that's something for you, the author of the story to do.
Brainstorm or something, when I really want to write and have no idea's for plots I listen to music. It's my inspiration to write.

You could google search some names, lot's of people on Yahoo! Answers ask a question similar to 'girl names for my book', I recommend you look on Baby Name site's or here.

You can also use a Random Name Generator.
1:http://random-name-generator.info/
2:http://www.randomnames.com/
3:http://listofrandomnames.com/
4:http://www.behindthename.com/random/ (i like this one, personally better)

Names really depend on your OWN taste in them. But I'll give you a short list of random names

1: Ava/Eva/Eve Young | Nicknames: The first two letters
2: Madelyn/Maddy/Maddie Rosewood | Nicknames: The other
3: Ann/Anne/Annie/Anna Kimberly | Nicknames: The other
4: Jade Winter | Nicknames: Jadie
5: Charlotte Gomez | Nicknames: Lottie
6: Taylor(or Tyler) Grey | Nicknames: Tay/ TayTay/Ty
7: Hannah(or Hanna) Winston | Nicknames: Hanns/Hann/Anna/Ann/ Hannah Banana
8: Willow Greyson | Nicknames: Will/Willa
9: Rosalie Monroe | Nicknames: Rose/Rosie
10: Olivia Fletcher | Nicknames: Olive/Liv/Livy

These are just a few name I came up with..

And some tips I'll give you is, when you try and come up with titles for your story, remember this; Go with a title that makes sense, that will help someone understand what the plot is about.
Example: If it just about a girl who's parents don't agree with the relationship, are always trying to break them up, name it something like 'Crazy With You'.

-

I would also recommend to edit a cover photo, the best website's are PicMonkey, IPiccy and Pixlr Express.
Example:http://31.media.tumblr.com/8634a58d98964162e5663698e6ffa176/tumblr_ms3rscv86Q1s4k6pjo1_400.jpg

Best of luck with your story!

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